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Money Monday

To Do or Not To Do

When it comes to the question of merging your money, it can get hairy.

There’s a lot at a stake.  For your money and your relationship.

Should you combine your finances or keep them separate?

In today’s video, I’ll help you identify the red flags to watch for as you navigate the best the path for you and your relationship.

Whether you’re just getting ready to say I do, or celebrating years of marriage, take a minute to check in and see if your solution really is the best for you.

Bottom line, every couple is different.  Focus on the goal of creating intimacy and engagement with your money and your partner. You can always adjust and renegotiate.

In the comments below share what solution works for you and your partner, what challenges you’ve faced when it comes to merging money and how you’ve overcome it.

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Shift from worry to abundance

Creating a prosperity mindset around money isn’t always easy.

If it was, we’d all have one.  And research shows, we don’t.

In fact, The American Psychological Association found that 75% of surveyed adults say money is the number 1 source of stress in their lives – (June 2008).

Watch this week’s video for my tip on the fastest way to shift from worry to abundance.

Creating an abundant mindset takes time and practice.

It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes a consistent commitment to checking in with yourself, being aware of your feelings, and consciously taking the time to choose thoughts that feel better.

Even the experts, including yours truly, fall into scarcity from time to time.

When worry starts to run the show, the first step is to be kind to yourself.

Beating yourself up for feeling scarce about money won’t help you create abundance.

Take a few minutes to notice what happens before the worry.

Do you start to get a subtle feeling that somethings not right, even before you feel stressed about money?
Do you engage in certain behaviors before you notice the feeling of scarcity?
I often notice a sudden desire to shop or an avoidance of balancing my checkbook, before I notice the feeling of worry.

These symptoms have become a trigger for me to start looking at what’s going in – in my money and my life.

What are your triggers?

Look at your money worry as a signal to go deep and look at the big picture.

Money problems often have little to do with actual money, so take an honest look at other things in your life that may be causing worry.

If your relationship is stressed or your job is a nightmare, you may project those feelings onto your money.

In the comments below, tell me what are you most grateful for when it comes to money?

Email your money questions to christy.lambert@areyouthriving.com

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Getting Paid

When you own a business or do work for someone else – getting paid is a pretty important part of the deal.

After all, you are in business to make money.

So what do you do when a client just won’t pay their bill?

Before you come down on the client, take a few minutes to look at your payment process.

The most common reason for not getting paid, is not being clear up front about your expectation for payment.

Check in.

  • Do you provide prospective clients with clear, written communication around your payment process BEFORE you start working for them?  Why/Why not?
  • Do you require some type of payment in advance?  Why/Why not?

Be brutally honest – what’s stopping you from spelling it out?

Asking for money is a sure fire way to bring up your fears about being good enough, being successful or just plain getting the business.

And those fears aren’t going to make asking for money easy. Bring them to light now, question them and empower yourself to put the right process in place from the get-go.

Once you’ve done the hard work of looking at how and why you’re current process is working, then it’s time to tackle this specific client.

Decide how much time you’re willing to invest in recouping the money.  Decide how you want to feel about this specific circumstance and decide what action you’re willing to take.

From that place, send the No BS email.

It goes like this:

“I require payment for X service in X amount by X date.  If there’s anything else you need from me to make this happen, I need to know immediately so I can provide that to you.”

If you’ve decided to pursue the payment further, you’ll want to add that to the end.

“If payment is not received by X date, my next step is X.”

Keep it clear, specific and to the point. No explaining.  No emotion.  Just the facts.

In the comments below tell me what systems you have to ensure payment from clients and how you’ve handled non-payment in the past.

Email your money questions to christy.lambert@areyouthriving.com

If you like this,  share it on facebook or twitter!

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Why do you want to be rich?

Why do you want to be rich?

If you want more money, it’s one of the single most important questions you can ask.

Why.

Why do you want more money?

It requires you to get really honest with yourself.

To examine your values.  To determine what’s important.

To understand why you care about money in the first place.

The second most important question to ask is: what does being rich mean to you?

How do you define rich?  What does rich look like?

The answers to these questions will be different for everyone.

And answering them will provide two distinct benefits:

1.  You’ll start consciously thinking about your money.

2. You’ll  supercharge your goals.

Check out the video for a quick tip to figure out the real reason you want money.  It’s a great way to get past the surface reasons to discover the real reasons why.

 

In the comments below, share your why.  What’s the #1 reason you want to be rich?

Email your money questions to christy.lambert@areyouthriving.com

If you like this,  share it on facebook or twitter!


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Avoiding Feelings

I used to be a world class emotion avoider.  When it came to my feelings, I gold medaled in not feeling them.

I was a bona-fide pro.

Simply knowing that my shopping was driven by a desire to avoid a feeling was not enough for me to change.

I wasn’t motivated by a goal of not shopping.  Or spending less.

In truth, those goals were hollow. They didn’t matter.

What did matter was the idea of creating wealth.  The idea of enjoying my lifestyle while reaching my long-term financial goals.

What mattered even more, was the idea that I could consistently feel better. Feel good.  Feel happy.

Not pretend happy.

Really happy.

And I could use my relationship with money to help me get there.

This meant not sugar coating my feelings (that was just another form of denial).

This meant not shopping when I wanted to feel better.

And most of all it meant no longer hiding from and avoiding those pesky feelings.

It meant exploring those feelings.  Diving into what was causing them.

I discovered that feelings are a gift.

An invitation to explore my mind.  An opportunity to uncover my beliefs.

The worst thing they can ever do is create a feeling.

The best thing they can do is to help me change my thinking and my life.

When I changed my thinking I started to change my feelings, for real.

I consistently started to feel better, no shopping necessary.

When I felt better, I created better results.  For myself and my money.

Leave your comments and insights below.

Email me your questions on money to christy.lambert@areyouthriving.com

If you like this,  share it on facebook or twitter!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Money Monday: Emotional Spending

The response to the Making Peace with Target post has been tremendous.

I’ve had emails coming in from all over the world. (If you missed it, you can read it by clicking HERE).

Turns out I’m not the only one who has a dysfunctional relationship with Target.

As one reader put it, “Target is crack cocaine for middle class women!”

So what can we do about it?

To answer that question, I’m pulling out a video from the archives.

It’s all about how to identify emotional spending.

In reality the process of breaking up with Target and emotional spending isn’t easy.

It’s taken me a long time.  It was really uncomfortable.  I had to exam who I was, my beliefs about money, and start paying attention to how I was feeling (by far the hardest part).

I still fall off the wagon from time to time.

But one of the most important things I did was to start paying attention.

How was I feeling when I was shopping?

How did I feel when I was done?

Slowing down and asking myself some hard questions in the middle of the aisle with a cart full of stuff.

So I challenge you to do the same.

There’s 4 key questions I ask myself before I hit the check out line:

  • Question 1: What do you think it will mean if you don’t buy the item?
  • Question 2: Why do you want the item & how do you think you will feel if you buy the item?
  • Question 3: Are you in a hurry?
  • Question 4: Will this item take my closer to or further from my financial goals?

You can read the full original post on emotional spending by clicking here. There’s some more juicy details on these four questions.

Emotional spending was the biggest challenge I faced with money.  It’s not an easy dragon to slay.  But it’s well worth the fight.

Leave your comments and insights below.

Email me your questions on money to christy.lambert@areyouthriving.com

If you like this,  share it on facebook or twitter!

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When to Quit Your Job

You’ve found your passion.

You’re ready to follow your dreams.

But should you quit your job?

Well it depends.

Do you hate your current job?  Are you worried about how to support yourself financially?  Are you excited about the new venture primarily because of all the money you might make?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might want to stick it out with your current gig a little longer.

The best way to get killer results in your next venture is to make the decision to jump when you already feel abundant, peaceful and excited.

If you’re worried, frustrated or annoyed the actions you take will likely cause more worry, frustration and annoyance down the line – no matter how passionate you are about the venture.

The good news is, you can follow your dreams while your at your current job.

Those two things are not mutually exclusive.  In fact, working at your current job may help you launch your venture to even more success.

I always say, “be passionate enough about this dream to deliver pizza.”

I’d love your feedback on the topic.  Specifically, if you’ve made the jump, how did you know it was time.  If you’re still on the fence, what’s keeping you there?

Leave your answers to these questions along with your comments and insights below. 

Email me your questions on money to christy.lambert@areyouthriving.com

If you like this,  share it on facebook or twitter!

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Holiday Spending

For years I celebrated the holidays by spending money.

I’d buy gifts for everyone I knew.

I’d shop, shop, shop all season long.

I was trying to buy holiday happiness for everyone, including myself.

Of course, I couldn’t.  It didn’t matter how many presents were under the tree.

The holidays were the holidays.

Sometimes happy.  Sometimes not so much.

I’ve since realized that happiness has nothing to do with spending money.

Yes, this sounds silly.  And even though I’m smart, it wasn’t always obvious.

This year I want to challenge you to find your holiday happiness without spending a dime.

That doesn’t mean you can’t buy gifts.

But before you buy, take some time to figure out what you really want for Christmas.

Do you want to be happier?

Do you want more connection?

Do you want more fun?

Figure out the feeling first.

Then decide how you can get that feeling without buying gifts.

For yourself or others.

It is possible. And it’s one of the best presents you’ll get all year.

Leave your comments and insights below. 

Email me your questions on money to christy.lambert@areyouthriving.com

If you like this,  share it on facebook or twitter!

If you want some help creating a holiday spending plan and connecting with what you really want this year, join the Holiday SOS coaching experience. 

It’ll change your relationship with holiday spending forever.  Click Here & Get Started

 

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Overcoming Money Conflicts

Relationships can be tricky. Add money to the equation and things can get even stickier.

You want to pay off debt and your partner wants to buy a motorcycle.

Or maybe you want to buy a new pair of jeans and your partner wants to go golfing, again.

It’s no surprise that money is one of the top causes of conflict in relationships.

So what can you do about?

First, understand you’re not really arguing about the motorcycle or the debt. Those items are symbolic of something deeper. For both of you.

The motorcycle might represent freedom.  The paid off debt security.  You’re really arguing for the values you think the items represent.

We all have experiences, stories and goals with money that motivate our current values and actions.

If you start the money conversation focused on the line items in the budget, you’re missing the big picture and setting yourself up for lasting conflict.

The trick is to take the conversation deeper.

Take some time to discover what’s driving your partners behaviors around money. And while you’re at it, dig into what’s driving yours.

I’ve created a three question worksheet you can download to get the conversations started.

Download Here: Conversation Starter

This is just a start.

Our money stories go deep. The more you understand about your story and your partners story the more equipped you will be to resolve conflict for the long term.

Leave your comments and insights below. 

Email me your questions on money to christy.lambert@areyouthriving.com

If you like this,  share it on facebook or twitter!

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Can you afford it?

You really want to buy something, sign up for a class, go on a trip, and the numbers don’t support it.

It’s a drag to think you really want something and then tell yourself you can’t afford it.

So stop lying to yourself.

When you make up your mind that you want something, there’s almost always a way to get it. You could sell everything you own, you could work two additional jobs, you could cash out your 401k.

But you’re not.

There’s a reason you’re choosing not to afford it.

The only reason you ever want to buy something is because you think buying it will make you feel a certain way.

  • You think participating in a class will make you feel confident or connected.
  • You think a new pair of shoes will make you feel sexy.
  • You think going to Greece will make you feel relaxed and free.

And it might.  But you don’t have to buy those things to get those feelings.

The same is true when you choose not to afford something.

The only reason you ever choose not to buy something is because you think having something else will make you feel better.

  • You think paying off your bills will make you feel responsible.
  • You think having money in your savings account will make you feel secure.
  • You think not working a second job will make you feel free.

And it might.  But it’s possible to buy the item you want and still get those feelings.

The only way to really know if you can afford something is to know what you value and why.

What do you value most: the item or what you’ll get by not buying it?

If something is important to you, stop telling yourself you can’t have it.  Instead, brainstorm creative ways you could choose to afford it. Check in and see if you’re willing to do those things and understand why/why not?

Affordability isn’t just about dollars and cents.  It’s about value. And you always get to choose what you value.

Leave your comments and insights below. 

Email me your questions on money to christy.lambert@areyouthriving.com

If you like this,  share it on facebook or twitter!

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