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Tag Archives: managing money conflict in relationships

Overcoming Money Conflicts

Relationships can be tricky. Add money to the equation and things can get even stickier.

You want to pay off debt and your partner wants to buy a motorcycle.

Or maybe you want to buy a new pair of jeans and your partner wants to go golfing, again.

It’s no surprise that money is one of the top causes of conflict in relationships.

So what can you do about?

First, understand you’re not really arguing about the motorcycle or the debt. Those items are symbolic of something deeper. For both of you.

The motorcycle might represent freedom.  The paid off debt security.  You’re really arguing for the values you think the items represent.

We all have experiences, stories and goals with money that motivate our current values and actions.

If you start the money conversation focused on the line items in the budget, you’re missing the big picture and setting yourself up for lasting conflict.

The trick is to take the conversation deeper.

Take some time to discover what’s driving your partners behaviors around money. And while you’re at it, dig into what’s driving yours.

I’ve created a three question worksheet you can download to get the conversations started.

Download Here: Conversation Starter

This is just a start.

Our money stories go deep. The more you understand about your story and your partners story the more equipped you will be to resolve conflict for the long term.

Leave your comments and insights below. 

Email me your questions on money to christy.lambert@areyouthriving.com

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